Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
