exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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