did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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