I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
