it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We had to coat check the pizza.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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