i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
not ubering you a puppy
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
