so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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