This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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