I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize