Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
