cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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