Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
