She is in my trunk
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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