I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
