I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
only if we run a train.
done.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
