quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
