They should really pass out barf bags in church
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
