I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize