No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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