After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Randomize
