My hand turned me down
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
