Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
