i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
