Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
