Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
