My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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