you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
