So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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