So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize