don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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