god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
