Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I wish there were birth control emojis
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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