Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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