so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
