Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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