Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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