i think i have two assholes
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
