So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
