she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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