508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
