covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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