i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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