Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
