Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
