oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
