I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i will never coherently bang her
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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