Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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