there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
