So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
