garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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