could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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