He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize