So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
