Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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